“Deaths are not cumulative. They’re compounding.”
Christopher Brewer is an Anglican priest at St. Mary’s in Chattanooga. He’s also a regular interlocutor at Speakeasy Theology. I’ve very much enjoyed his candor and thoughtfulness and I have much to learn from him.
A while ago now, Chris pinged me to say that he’d like to have a conversation about death, dying, and funeral preaching. I asked my Ken Sundet Jones to join us, adding age to youth and beauty. I know these are subjects over which I’ve labored as a preacher and I suspect the same is true for others so we decided to record the conversation for the sake of others.
Show Notes
Summary
In this conversation, the speakers explore the complexities of dealing with death and dying, particularly in the context of pastoral care. They discuss the challenges faced by pastors when navigating their roles as caregivers for their families and congregations during times of grief. The importance of truth-telling in funerals, the art of crafting eulogies, and the need for emotional honesty are emphasized. The conversation also touches on the significance of memories and the role of the pastor in providing comfort and guidance during these difficult times. In this conversation, the speakers explore the complexities of funerals, grief, and the role of pastoral care in navigating death. They discuss the importance of truth in addressing loss, the significance of rituals, and the need for community support. The conversation emphasizes the promise of eternal life and the challenges faced by those in pastoral roles when dealing with grief and expectations from families.
Takeaways
Death and dying are central themes in pastoral care.
Pastors often struggle with being caregivers for their own families.
Accompaniment in grief is crucial for families.
Eulogies should reflect the truth of the deceased's life.
Honesty in funerals helps convey the gospel's truth.
Family dynamics can complicate the grieving process.
Memories can serve as a powerful tool in eulogies.
Pastors must balance emotion with the message they deliver.
Theological reflections on death are important for pastoral care.
Truth-telling is essential in ministry, especially during funerals. It's easier for them to entrust their loved one to the Lord if they think that promise is true.
Funerals can serve as moments of evangelism.
Pastors often face the challenge of addressing grief in a meaningful way.
Death is a constant presence in the lives of congregants.
The dying process can be seen as a liturgy that helps people grieve.
It's important to find the right time to address theological beliefs about death.
Pastoral care requires accepting that you will disappoint people.
Honesty and truth are crucial when addressing death and dying.
Conversations about dying should be approached with grace and humor.
Community support is vital for both the dying and those who grieve.
Sound Bites
"What does it mean to be with those who are dying?"
"It's difficult to be a pastor to your family."
"Death lingers there, it hovers."
"It's easier for them to entrust their loved one to the Lord."
"Funerals become a moment of evangelism."
"I would rather do 10 child deaths than one wedding."
The Preacher's Undertaking